KILL THE BITCH

• Teacher: Why did you not study?
• Me: A year has 365 days for you to study. After taking away 52 Sundays, there are only 313 days left. There are 50 days in the summer that is way too hot to work so there are only 263 days left. We sleep 8 hours a day, in a year, that counts up to 122 days so now we're left with 141 days. If we fooled around for only 1 hour a day, 15 days are gone, so we are left with 126 days. We spend 2 hours eating each day, 30 days are used in this way in the year, and we are left with 96 days in our year. We spend 1 hour a day speaking to friends and family, that takes away 15 days more and we are left with 81 days. Exams and tests take up at least 35 days in your year, hence you are only left with 46 days. Taking off approximately 40 days of holidays, you are only left with 6 days. Say you are sick for a minimum of 3 days, you're left with 3 days in the year to study! Let's say you only go out for 2 days... You're left with 1 day. But that 1 day is your birthday.

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• Madonna: I have 15 plagarism lawsuits on my record and based my entire career around other people's imagery.
• Public: That's okay, we love you Madonna, you're the queen!
• Lady Gaga: I had a similar chord progression to one of Madonna's songs from thirty years ago, which has been continuously used in disco music for the past 50 years.
• Public: Copycat whore! You suck, we hate you plagiarist!
• Nicki Minaj: I dove through some Japanese dumpster and glued anything I could find on my body just for shock value.
• Public: You're a style icon! We adore your cute and quirky fashion!
• Lady Gaga: I wore a meat dress as a fashion statement in connection to my ongoing DADT repeal efforts.
• Public: You gross cheap attention-seeking slut! You've never stooped so low!
• Rihanna: I pop my vagina to the point where I occasionally break gravitational laws on tour all over the world and have 100's of songs about sexual desires and fetishes.
• Public: That's great! You're a strong female and you have a great body!
• Lady Gaga: I perform my entire concert in an effort to liberate those attending and sing songs that have historical and reasonable context and I dance similar to how I danced back when I was a go-go dancer.
• Public: You filthy skank! You have no respect for family values or religion! You should get cleaner and quit singing about sex!
• Katy Perry: I recycle Gaga's ideas, fashion, hair color, and phases 3-6 months after her and have no discernible talent or message.
• Public: That's fantastic! You're imagery is iconic and you're songs are amazing! We love you!
• Lady Gaga: I consistently innovate my look and sound using occasional homage to those I was most inspired by from the 70's and 80's. I help kids far and wide be themselves and work every day towards numerous causes.
• Public: Your 15 minutes is up! You're unoriginal and talentless and you have a penis! You do everything for attention and we hate you!

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